happiness is

on my way home from work i stopped at a convenience store to buy some milk. i came up to the counter and plunked down my half gallon as the two clerks behind the counter shared their witty (or not so witty) early morning banter. the exchange ended up with a comment from the male clerk to his male customer, "women...you just can't make 'em happy." to which he received some positive reinforcement from the cutomer voicing his agreement in the metter. not to be outdone, the female clerk figuring on some similar comradery from me, looked at me and suggested, "yes they can, huh? give us money!" i had no response. a half-hearted shake of the head, feeling mostly disappointed in my gender, i paid for the milk and left. how different my answer would have been. as i drove home, sadness ate at me. how differently this exchange might have ended up if i had only taken a moment to speak, taken another second out my morning to tell this woman how wrong she was, how the source of true happiness and beyond that, true JOY was inside me and i could share it with her - something unexpendable, never ending. how many more people - moms and dads, teenagers, convenience store clerks, restaraunt servers, administrative executives - are there walking listlessly around this world with the same thinking..."money, that's the answer - i'm unhappy because i don't have everything i want." "marriage, i'm not happy because i'm alone. if i have someone to share this with, then i'll have arrived." "achievement - if only i can reach all my goals, make others proud, be a somebody, that's the answer." how can i horde the answer inside my soul? i'm happy. i'm SO happy. beyond that i'm filled with joy even when i'm UNhappy, because my hope is not resting in me or my circumstance.

so...what makes you happy?