God, i can't even sort out my own motives in time before i act. sometimes i even like to fool myself into thinking i'm simply trying to know You better, yet is there a selfishness even in that? do i expect or even just hope, even a little bit, that my chasing after You will yeild something for me? is that true worship? or is it selfish? i'm ashamed to say that at times i think i am seeking You harder to impress others. of course i want to worship You, i want to know You better, but the rate i am chasing You at right now...even though i'm not displaying it for others to see on purpose...do i secretly think that the growth i glean from my time with you will make me (a) more attractive (b) more impressive (c) more worthy...? keep me questioning myself. i need it.